

“And speaking of my ‘personal self’: I cannot – as you once proposed to me ‘solve the problem of life by losing myself in the problem of art’ – Not only I cannot do that but I even feel that the problem of life hinders my problem of art.
Now what is this ‘my problem of life’? It is chiefly: an effort to detach myself from life so as to be able to devote myself completely to art -
And here I know exactly that you will answer: ‘Art cannot exist without life’ – Yes – I admit but there should be an even balance of both elements while in my case life is always struggling to predominate and art naturally suffers -
By art I mean the creation of any sort – You might say to me that since the element of life is stronger in me than the element of art I should just resign to it and make the best of it – But I cannot accept life as it is – it is too chaotic – too unconscious – therefore my resistance to it – my combat with it. I am forever struggling to mould life according to my temperament and needs – in other words I put too much art in my life – too much energy – and consequently I have not much left to give to art – ”